Making Decisions: Intimacy
How Can My Boyfriend and I Be Close Without Having Sex?
Developing intimacy without sex is a skill that will serve you well for life. As married couples can attest, sexual activity doesn’t always equate to emotional intimacy. The best thing you can do is communicate with your boyfriend/girlfriend about your dreams and desires, and keep yourselves out of compromising situations. Talk about your future goals and create a plan to reach those goals. Additionally, spend time meeting the needs of others. Whether it’s volunteering at a retirement center or working to build someone a home, developing common interests through outside activities significantly develops closeness. Additionally, be creative in your dating life. Challenge one another to create times that will build memories. Take time to create photo journals of your time together. After all, if this boyfriend/girlfriend turns out to be your mate, you will have created a treasure chest of memories for your future.
How Do My Boyfriend and I Avoid Compromising Situations?
It’s most important to talk about what both of your goals are in your physical relationship. If you’re waiting to have sex until marriage (the healthiest choice) then you need a plan ahead of time to avoid moments of passion that can cloud your judgment. Decide beforehand how far you’re willing to take your physical relationship. It’s important to remember, the further you go, the harder it is to control your physical desires. Make a commitment to one another to keep your relationship pure and plan activities accordingly. A few tips to remember would include dating in groups, not being alone at home together and avoid seeing sexually explicit movies.
How Do You Know If You Are in Love?
Most think of love as an emotion, but in reality love is a devotion. The basis of love is friendship and a genuine care for a person. This entails the ability to honestly put that person above you and be able to work through difficult times together with the relationship/friendship intact. Yet, love goes beyond friendship. It is the readiness to commit to the other. To commit as in “no other dating possibilities or even thoughts thereof.” The behaviors associated with love are what give it power. Often, love is confused with infatuation, which behaves much differently. Infatuation rarely puts the other person first. Instead, it focuses on its wants, physical attraction or sex. Being “in love” is far more than an empty phrase. It is a choice manifested in actions. Look closely and honestly to see if you relationship is infatuation or love.
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